Star Trek (8)

Spock: Sir, there is a multi-legged
creature crawling on your shoulder.
- Star Trek TOS, "Taste of Armageddon"

Scott: That's a big planet.
McCoy: Not to big for the Enterprise.
- Star Trek TOS, "Taste of Armageddon"

"You proceed from a false assumption: I have no ego to bruise."
- Spock, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Scotty: Diplomats! The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank.
- Star Trek TOS, "Taste of Armageddon

Fizzbin - The Rules of the Game
Kirk: The name of the game is called... Fizzbin. Each player gets
6 cards, except for the player on the dealer's right, who gets 7.
Thug: On the right.
Kirk: Yeah. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays.
Thug: Tuesday.
Kirk: Ohh! Look what you've got 2 jacks. You got a half-fizzbin already.
Thug: I need another jack?
Kirk: No. If you got another jack, why you'd have a shralk.
Thug: A shralk?
Kirk: Yes, you'd be disqualified. No, what you need now is either a king and a deuce, except at night, of course, when you'd need a queen and a four.
Thug: Except at night.
Kirk: Right. Oh, look at that, you've got another jack! How lucky you are! How wonderful for you! Now if you didn't get another jack, if you had gotten a king, why then you'd get another card except when it's dark , when you'd have to give it back.
Thug: If it were dark on Tuesday.
Kirk: Yes, but what you're after is a royal fizzbin, but the odds of getting a royal fizzbin are astron - Spock, what are the odds on getting a royal fizzbin?
Spock: I have never computed them, Captain.
Kirk: Well, they're astronomical, believe me. Now, for the last card, we'll call it a kronk. You got that?
Thug: What?
(chaos ensues)
- Star Trek The Original Series: A Piece of the Action